Odd Thoughts on the Billboard Charts
Today I thought I'd take a look at the Billboard web site and see what sort of
things those crazy kids listen to these days. I haven't listened to the radio in
a while and I'm pretty much stuck in a musical rut, which I don't mind. I still
listen to new music, it's just new music from the old bands I've always liked.
Anyway, I have to admit that I am astounded at what I see on the charts. I
figured when I did this I'd at least have to read the lyrics of some of these
songs to make fun of them, but I don't even have to do that. Of the top 10
songs, only two (Unwell by Matchbox 20 and Miss Independent by Kelly Clarkson)
are free from silly/slangy spelling in the titles or the name of the artist. The
other eight spots are done by folks like Beyonce featuring Jay-Z, Chingy, 50
Cent (twice), Lumidee, Ginuwine, and Uncle Kracker singing songs with titles
like Rock Wit U, Right Thurr, and P.I.M.P. A name like 50 Cent (not cents, mind
you) tells me all I need to know about that performer. Jay-Z, Uncle Kracker, and
Ginuwine all fall into the category of silly spelling. I don't mind the sound of
Uncle Kracker, but I just can't get past that "K." And Ginuwine? Is that some
kind heavy-duty daiquiri? And then there's Chingy and Lumidee. Now that I think
about it though, Chingy Lumidee Booth wouldn't be a bad name if we have another
daughter. I almost wish I could go back and use it now, but I guess it's too
late. But be warned: Amy and I will be very upset if any of you folks out there
steal Chingy Lumidee from us before we get to use it.